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It's time to face the facts...Penguins are a superior form of life. You may point to the many accomplishments of human beings, but let's take a look at a few things. Penguins haven't blown themselves up with nuclear weapons, become hypnotized by sitcoms, overdose on coffee, become addicted to cocaine, make funny goof-ups like Dan Quayle and George W. Bush, wrecked the ozone layer, invented bad operating systems, started civil wars, burped the alphabet, taken SATs, gotten mixed up with the metric system, become anorexic, gotten stuck in toilets, and well...you get the point. Fortunately, this planet is not doomed forever. Planning to wrest power from the humans is the Socialist Party of Penguin Praxism in Antarctica and Rational Revolution Led by the Committee of Joint Coalitions with the People's Penguin's Army and Natural Resource Conservation Power (SPPPARVLCJCPPANRCP for short, or in most cases, simply the Penguin Party). Upon their success, humans shall be rendered harmless by addictive sitcom television and fed pellets while penguins strive for a better tomorrow. The sole purpose of the human beings will be as a bargaining tool in the event that space aliens attack (i.e. human slaves in exchange for not blowing up the planet).
Fortunately for you humans however, the Penguinhood offers you a chance of survival. Join and support the Penguinhood, knowing that you contribute to a worthy cause! Your reward shall be a leadership role on your local Committee of What Sitcoms to Keep the Dumb Humans Harmless (CWSKDHH or SitCOM for short), giving you the POWER to decide what sitcoms you want to watch! And if space aliens come, you'll be the last one to be given with a guarantee that we won't give you to the space aliens with the intention of you being an appetizer (though desert may be another issue).
Webcam of a Constantly Flying Penguin You are Convert Number This site was made using made using Microsoft FrontPage 2000. --Updated every sixth Wednesday of each month in relation to the penguin lunar calendar as Earth enters perihelion OR whenever we feel like it-- |
